Parsha Hashavua
Personal Growth: How We Ought to Care For Others
By BJLife/Rabbi Reuven Taragin
Posted on 03/30/25
In our last piece, we saw that Avodat Hashem also mandates care for other people. This care includes many levels.
All People
The Torah prohibits the murder[1] of and theft[2] from any human being. In addition, we should act respectfully towards every human being because we are all created in Hashem’s image.[3]
How Jews Treat Other People
As Jews, we are called to a unique level of sensitivity towards others, guided by two distinct reasons and expectations from Hashem.
The servitude we experienced in Mitzrayim should sensitize us to human suffering.[4] We know what being a foreigner feels like and should thus care for those in similar situations.
We must also be more careful about how we treat others because we are Hashem’s people; our behavior either sanctifies or desecrates His name.[5] For this reason, halachah prohibits even actions that are technically permitted, such as certain forms of theft.[6]
How Jews Treat Other Jews
The Torah also commands us to show extra care for other Jews. Though we value and respect all human beings, Jews are special because they are also Hashem’s children, as well as our family.[7] These distinctions require us to show additional consideration towards every Jew.[8]
This consideration includes avoiding causing any damage or pain to other Jews, their property, and their feelings, as well as offering support and assistance to and even developing feelings of love for all Jews.
Let us study each of these areas.
Avoiding Damage and Pain
The Torah commands us to go to great lengths to avoid damaging or hurting other Jews. In addition to prohibiting assault,[9] the Torah exceeds accepted societal norms by also prohibiting giving bad advice,[10] impinging on another Jew’s livelihood,[11] and even speaking meanly to or about other Jews. The prohibition of onaat devarim prohibits direct verbal abuse,[12] while the prohibition of lashon hara (rechilut) prohibits speaking badly about other Jews.[13] We should be concerned about not only the physical welfare of other Jews but also their emotional welfare and reputation.
In addition, the Torah prohibits charging ribit (interest) on loans made to other Jews.[14] Interest is an integral part of most economies. Just as people charge for rented property, they also collect interest for the use of money. Capital is a resource, and interest is the motive for investment. Though this is understandable and inherently permissible, we are prohibited from taking interest from other Jews because it is an improper way to treat our Jewish family.[15] We do not want to add to the “bite” that a loan already takes from a family member forced into debt.[16]
Support and Assistance
In addition to avoiding the bite, free loans are an example of the assistance the Torah commands us to offer other Jews.[17] Other examples are the mitzvot to endeavor to return items lost by other Jews[18] and help Jews load and unload their donkeys.[19]
Beyond these situational mitzvot, the Torah commands us to support other Jews. Though tzedakah is the prime example of this support, our responsibility extends beyond giving money. We must help the poor and needy get back on their feet by facilitating their self-sufficiency and restoring their confidence and strength.[20]
Similarly, the Torah also commands us to be especially sensitive to the needs and suffering of widows and orphans.[21] We need to offer additional support and show extra care for those who are lonely and vulnerable.
Empathy and Love
In addition to supporting those in need, the Torah commands us to empathize with them.[22] Like Moshe Rabbeinu, who identified with the pain of his brothers enslaved in Egypt,[23] we, too, should feel the pain of all members of our broader Jewish family.
The Torah demands even more on the emotional plane — it prohibits hating and mandates loving all Jews.[24] Hashem wants His children to love each other. The story of Yosef and his brothers should sensitize us to the danger of hating our brothers and inspire us to endeavor to love each other instead.[25]
How To Generate Love and Care
As love and hate are emotions of the heart, these last two mitzvot are the hardest to achieve. How do we combat hate? How do we foster love?
Giving
The Gemara[26] addresses the first question in its discussion of the mitzvot to help load and unload donkeys. We generally prioritize assisting with unloading before loading in order to relieve the pack animal. The exception is when we dislike the one loading. In such a situation, we help the one loading first to counter our negative feelings. The Gemara assumes that assisting others dispels the hatred we might feel towards them. Helping others reinforces the compassion Hashem instilled within our nature. Circumstances may have separated or even driven a wedge between us and others; assistance jogs our conscious.
Benjamin Franklin observed this effect over a thousand years later. He noticed that a fellow Pennsylvania state legislator disliked him. None of Franklin's attempts to ingratiate himself succeeded until he borrowed a manuscript from him. After lending Franklin the manuscript, his colleague began acting friendlier towards him. It was the other legislator’s, not Franklin’s, act of kindness that changed his own heart. Franklin summarized this experience with a principle: “He that has done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”[27]
In addition to dispelling hate, helping others can also foster love. Rav Eliyahu Dessler[28] proved this from parents' love of their children. Mothers and fathers spend decades caring for their children without receiving much in return. Yet, parents feel great love for their children. This is because giving fosters love. Rav Dessler[29] added that one can see this idea in the root of the Hebrew word for love — ahavah. The word revolves around its two middle letters, heh and bet, which spell the word “hav” (to give). Giving fosters love.[30]
Learning
Rav Nachman MiBreslov[31] suggests an additional way to foster love — learning from others. We love what we appreciate — what we feel adds to or improves our lives. The more we learn from others, the more we appreciate them. Fulfilling the dictum of the Mishnah in Pirkei Avot,[32] which encourages learning from all people, helps us appreciate and ultimately love them.
May our appreciation of the Godliness of all humanity and our personal relationship with all Jews inspire us to care for and treat each of these groups with the appropriate respect and appreciation.
Rav Reuven Taragin is the Dean of Overseas Students at Yeshivat Hakotel and the Educational Director of World Mizrachi and the RZA.
His new book, Essentials of Judaism, can be purchased at rabbireuventaragin.com.
[1] Bereishit 9:5–6; Mechilta, Mishpatim 4; Rambam, Rotzeiach 1:1; Raavan, Bava Kamma 113a; Yerei’im 175.
[2] See Bava Kama 113 in the name of Rebbi Akiva. Though Bava Metzia 111 quotes another opinion, we pasken like Rebbi Akiva (Rambam, Hilchot Geneivah 1:1–2 and Hilchot Gezeilah 1:1; Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 348:2 and 359:1).
Halachah prohibits even geneivat daat (fooling) of a non-Jew. See Chullin 94a and the Ritva there, who feels that it is a Biblical prohibition.
[5] Vayikra 22:32 and Rambam, Yesodei HaTorah 5:11.
The severity of the sin of chillul Hashem can be seen from Sanhedrin 107a, Berachot 19b, and Yoma 86a.
Though the halachah of yeihareig v’al ya’avor in public depends upon the presence of ten Jews (Sanhedrin 74), the concepts of kiddush and chillul Hashem apply to the impressions of non-Jews as well. See Yechezkel 36:20–23 and Rambam, Mitzvot Aseh 9.
[6] Bava Kama 113; Rambam, Hilchot Gezeilah 11:3–5 and Geneivah 7:8; Tur/Rema 348:2.
See also Tosefta, Bava Kamma 1:15, which explains that because of the sin of chillul Hashem, theft from a non-Jew is more severe than theft from a Jew. Meshech Chochmah to Shemot 21:14 says a similar thing about the murder of a non-Jew versus that of a Jew.
See also Tanna D’bei Eliyahu 26 and Rambam to Mesechet Keilim 12:7, which emphasize the importance of refraining from any type of theft of a non-Jew to avoid theft from becoming habitual.
[7] Other Jews are our family for two reasons: 1) The fact that we are Hashem’s children makes us all brothers; 2) We share common ancestors.
[9] Devarim 25:3. Most Rishonim also believe that there is a Biblical prohibition to damage a Jew’s property. See Rashi, Gittin 53b, D”H Metame; Rashba, Bava Kamma 2b, D”H Aval; Yad Ramah, Bava Batra 107; Tur CH”M 378; Minchat Chinuch 11; and Kehilot Yaakov. Bava Kamma 1. On the other hand, see Kiryat Sefer, Nizkei Mamon 5.
[11] Devarim 19:14 as explained by the Rokeiach, quoted in Shu”t Maharshal 89. See also Makkot 24a based upon Tehillim 15:3 and Sanhedrin 81a based upon Yechezkel 18:6. See also Devarim 27:17.
[13] Vayikra 19:16. See also Devarim 22:19 and 27:24 (as explained by Rashi). The Torah teaches us the danger of lashon hara through the story of Yosef and his brothers (Bereishit 37:2).
[17] The formulation of the pasuk in Sefer Shemot (22:24) that mandates free loans implies this point. The pasuk refers to the borrower as “ami.” All Jews are His people and should therefore be assisted for free.
[20] Vayikra 25:35 as explained by the Rambam, Hilchot Matnot Aniyim 10:7. See also Midrash Tanchuma, Behar 2; Shabbat 63a; Bava Batra 9b; Shaarei Teshuvah 3:13; and the Chinuch 479.
[23] Shemot 2:11. See Rashi there as well, who seems to build off the formulation of “b’sivlotam” as opposed to “et sivlotam.”